Let's Dance

Hi my name is Pamela and I am a recovering addict.

Wow, I can hardly believe 28 days have passed since I first posted about this addiction. Today is my 29^th day of food-sobriety and I feel terrific. I never knew I could feel so free while taking better care of myself. In AA and NA they use the serenity prayer as a mantra in each meeting. I decided to start each day incorporating that into my morning talks with my Heavenly Father. ­

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, (like the ingredients in processed food that triggers a binge in my body, or the fact that stress can be a trigger for me too.) The courage to change the things I can (I can change the way I react to those triggers and I can change what I eat so that most of those triggers are avoided. I can get enough sleep, and drink enough water so that my body is operating fully charged and fueled properly) and the wisdom to know the difference (I must do what I can do this day, this moment, unless I am healthy and walking in food sobriety, I cannot be useful to anyone else.)

Step 4 says this, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

When I first read it I didn’t think that really applied to food addiction. I mean, overall I am one of the most moral people I know. I don’t even watch TV that has violence or illicit sexual themes, I don’t get drunk, I don’t use drugs, I don’t usually cuss, I love my country, my mama and my dog, I don’t cheat on my husband…Yep, I could go on and on. Moral inventory seemed more appropriate for people who struggle with bad morals. But, I want to do this with integrity, so I decided to ask God to show me anything I needed to recognize as immoral in my life, or anything that was hindering me from the freedom to live healthy and food-wise in sobriety.

We tend to label things according to what we find to be moral, but none of us is without sin, therefore no one is completely moral. Lusting after Nutty Bars, Committing Gluttony with French onion dip, following a binge with sloth thereby keeping every calorie preserved in our hips and many other practices of the food-addict are all immoral by God’s standard. If we really allow God to show us the truth of our lives and take that FEARLESS moral inventory, we will recognize the things we CAN change with the help of God.

The good thing is, I already took a moral inventory at the same time I admitted my powerlessness over this addiction in step one. The hard part is, there is still more God is revealing to me as I walk in my sobriety and these steps are not a group of instructions that you follow one at a time until you have worked all 12. All 12 have to be worked all the time. Initially you have to come to understand them one at a time, but I believe these steps are more like a dance than a lesson plan. Thankfully most dances I know don’t have 12 steps to learn, but this life of sobriety is like, 1-2-3-Kick…repeat.  Every day that I dance in food sobriety is a day closer to understanding how much God can use me when I am not under bondage to unhealthy foods and stress induced habits.

Let’s dance!