Week One...

Hi, my name is Pamela and I am addicted to unhealthy food.

Here I am, one week into recovery and I have lost 9 pounds. I have not counted calories, I have not measured things, I have not "dieted". I have simply started each day committing to food sobriety. There were a few times that it was a little bit challenging. I'm not going to lie, this journey to healthy wholeness is not going to be without temptation or speed bumps. But, it is completely necessary if I am going to live past 50. (That's only 6 years away...Yikes)

My first hurdle of the week came Friday morning. I was heading home from work and was suddenly so hungry. I had eaten breafkast, but it was almost lunchtime, but my reaction surprised me. My brain immediately started gps-ing the closest fast food drive through. It was like a map was broadcast in my head. This time though, I did not see that as a response to hunger, but as a response to addiction. Yes, I needed to eat fairly soon, but I was not going to die without an immediate food fix. I could drive home and walk to the kitchen in order to satisfy my hunger. Whew, situation averted, food-sobriety in check.

The second hurdle was Sunday Morning at church. No, I was NOT tempted to raid the communion closet for crackers. I was however, positioned in a room very close to three boxes of donuts. I was visiting our youth Sunday School for a new column I'm writing for a magazine in the teen market. I was the first one in the classroom other than whomever had delivered the sweet treats for the class. The smell of sugared bread filled the room. My mouth watered. I went to sit at the table furthest from the donuts, and sipped my bottle of water while I waited for the class to get there. Of course that only added to the scene. As soon as the teens arrived it was a donut  frenzy. Powedered sugar everywhere,  muffled voices talking with their mouths full of pastry, cream and frosting. I was doing okay though, My water was nearly empty and I felt full enough to ignore my brain's direction to "just have one, it's no big deal." Soon the teacher took control of his class, and introduced me so that I could talk to the kids. Whew, I made it...food-sobriety in tact one more time.

Driving home from church I reflected on the morning. I won't conquer this addiction one day at a time. It must be achieved one moment at a time. Making the right choice and committing my will to the power of God in my life at each turn is the only way I am going to stop the cycle of addiction in my life.

At home that afternoon I did something I hadn't done in years. I allowed myself to take a nap. Growing up our whole family enjoyed a little Sunday Siesta after church, but as an adult I always feel guilty if I take a nap. But, I have noticed, that when I am very tired, I will eat out of a desire to refuel, often choosing sugary or starchy foods thinking I need the energy. What if I truly just need a little rest? Indeed, I felt refreshed and ready to finish the day after my slumber. But, I woke up a little past when I should have started cooking supper for my hubby. The solution? Call the Pizza Place.

Oh boy...here we go...I'm sure I am the only one to ever do this, but I usually cannot make it home with a full pizza. The smell get's the best of me and I always lift the lid and pull out a slice on the drive home. I know, it's crazy, but it has been a very real part of this food addiction for years. We live 30 minutes from the nearest pizza place, and sadly, I have consumed half of a pizza by the time I hit my drive way on more than one occasion. It's embarrassing to admit it...but it's true. So, I had to go pick up the pizza for the family. Before I left I decided what I was having for supper so I could look forward to that, hoping it would keep me from falling into the pizza box.

It worked. I put the pizza in the back seat where I could not easily reach it and it made it home with every piece in place. I'm not saying I can never have a slice of pizza without falling of the food wagon, but I certainly don't need to mindlessly munch on the drive home.

My dinner was watermelon and it was so good. After I ate that I did enjoy a slice of pizza, but not half the pie. And, I skipped the meat-lovers for a slice filled with veggies. I was shocked that just a slice could be satisfying, but eating it rationally, after filling up on healthier choices, allowed me to actually enjoy it. Sometimes HOW we eat is as important as WHAT we eat.

So, the result after the first week? I am still addicted to food, but I have achieved one week of food-sobriety and I will continue to walk in that for another day, week, month, year...hopefully the rest of my life. If I can do this, so can you.

Keep coming back, it works if we work it.